one too many

Another NSF passed away, this time during a platoon exercise on Monday. This, after a 3Guardsman died a while back earlier on this year. It’s really scary, and hits a little closer to home, as my younger brother is currently serving the country as well.

Today is also the birthday of a junior who succumbed to cancer a year and a half back. Can-freaking-cer, at such a young age. I remember being pretty shaken back then, even if I didn’t know him particularly well. The last I saw him, he was playing basketball, but the next time I would hear about him, he was gone.

Shortly after, a schoolmate of mine also passed away, in an unfortunate jetski accident. I went to the funeral, and the grief in his parents’ eyes was heartbreaking, despite their stoic postures.

One can only imagine what it is like to lose someone dear, if I as a mere friend could still be this affected. And these boys, they still had a long way ahead of them on the journey of life.

R.I.P Dominique Lee, and thank you for your service to the country; R.I.P YJ, and thank you for being so friendly when we first met; happy birthday PK, you were a fighter, and I hope you are better off wherever you are now.

musings

death, loss, rest in peace

April 19, 2012

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final

Soccer cancelled for the second Sunday in a row, FML. Rain, why you so frequent and heavy? Damn.

Just checked the dates for my finals, and logged them into my BB calendar. Last semester, I had six exams. This time round, four papers in four days, one on each. Surely I can’t do much worse?

——

Absolutely shocking and awful news regarding Piermario Morosini, who collapsed on the pitch due to a heart attack while playing for Livorno yesterday. Unlike the Muamba case, there was to be no happy ending this time. His mother passed away when he was 15, his father followed two years later. His younger brother then committed suicide, and the 25 year-old leaves behind a physically-handicapped sister. How cruel life can be. Respect for his passion to continue his career, and according to many of the players, for always having a smile on his face despite what he has gone through.

No one should ever end up not returning from going to watch a football game, but that was what happened to 96 Liverpool supporters at Hillsborough. Life and death transcend rivalry, and that’s the way it always should be.

R.I.P Piermario, and the Hillsborough victims.

musings, soccer, uni

final exams, Hillsborough, Piermario Morosini, r.i.p

April 15, 2012

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cute kids and hot mommies

Second Saturday of my part-time job, and I can feel my resolve to not have kids in the future weakening already. These kids are so unbelievably cute, what with their pretty accents and adorable gaits and plain, wide-eyed innocence.

Throw a sexy wife with the ability to retain her figure after giving birth ala Miranda Kerr into the mix, and I think that will be that.

musings, soccer

cute kids, hot moms

April 14, 2012

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the tricky thing is, yesterday we were just children

When I read what people like G write, I am too ashamed to term my own pieces as “writing”. Bleedingly beautiful prose, emotions on screen which I can never hope to express as well even if it takes the rest of my life to try.

As it is, I am not sure how to express what I am feeling right now. I guess it’s just that some people come into your lives, even if it’s just for the briefest of moments, and it is enough to guarantee them a permanent spot in your memory.

And sometimes, they never ever really leave you, never truly disappear. A Facebook status, a tweet. The URL that pops up in your browser bar when you type a letter that corresponds with the first one in their Tumblr address.

Maybe you’ve told yourself to just simply ignore these things. Unsubscribe from their feed, remove them from your lists. Resist the temptation to click on that link.

But there are times when you tell yourself that just a quick peek will suffice, to see how they are doing; that is all, right? There is no harm, and you won’t do anything. You just want to know.

It never works that way though. It is never that simple. You start delving further back, going through days, weeks, months of the archives. You start to wonder who they are thinking about as you read a particular entry. You think to yourself that things could have been so different, so much better. And you ask yourself whether they have ever looked back the same way you are doing now, and whether they regretted how things turned out, the way you do during those darned sleepless nights.

And it fucks with your mind. Could he have been the one; was she the one who got away. It really does fuck you about, hard.

So how do you stop all this? Short of brainwashing yourself, how do you block it all out? Just how, how do you ensure that this fragment of longing and wonderment does not stab you in the back of your mind at the most unexpected and inopportune moments, ten, twenty, fifty years from now?

musings

forgetting, memories

April 10, 2012

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